How to Make the Ninja Gym into Reality

So, gents and ladies, this question won’t let me rest.  How can we bring the Ninja Gym into reality?

I can think of a few incarnations that this idea could have.  There’s the traditional “build a biz plan, get outside funding” approach, which could work, I suppose.  But there’s also the more organic, grass-roots type of startup, where a bunch of us with similar goals get together and just build the thing ourselves.  This is more appealing to me.  It would have to start small, of course… unless one of the founding members happened to be independently wealthy.  Not impossible, but not something to plan on.

But I don’t think this has to be a super-expensive project.  Honestly, what did real ninjas have?  Did they have amenities and utilities and all that jazz?  No!  They were hardcore survivalists who used everything they found in nature for their training.  And how about the fun aspect?  Do we need a bunch of electronic gadgets or expensive accessories to have fun and get exercise?  Remember how much fun you used to have on the playground.  And what was that?  A field, some monkey bars, a metal slide, stuff to climb on.  Do we need much more?

There’s a training field for a school close to here that has adult-size monkey bars, a balance log suspended from cables, and a few log hurdles and posts.  A couple friends and I stumbled into it one day by accident and proceeded to spend about two hours just screwing around on the obstacles.  The course was simple to the extreme, but it was fun!  If we just could find an appropriate piece of land to do it on, couldn’t we build a wicked ninja course with our bare hands?

I know there’s a ropes course in Provo, too, and I really want to go check it out.  I don’t know how “ninja” it is, but at least it would be an adrenaline rush!

What do you think?  Do you know a place or persons who would be interested in building something like this?

Ninja Warrior Footage and Gym Brainstorm

Here is some footage of the show that spawned my fascination with the Ninja Gym prospect.  Doesn’t this make you want to try out the obstacles for yourself?  Or am I just crazy?  Check out stage one:

Don’t worry, you don’t have to be an Olympic decathlete to conquer these courses.  In fact, this guy’s size worked against him on the final course.  (There’s an obstacle that requires you to hang from a one-inch ledge as you try to work your way across 15 feet or so of nothingness.  Think about that – you’re supporting your entire weight with only your fingertips for an extended period of time.  Needless to say, Mr. Musclebound didn’t do too well on that one!)

There are three courses total, with increasingly difficult obstacles.  Here’s an example of the second:

The obstacles change every year, but the fundamental focus on upper body strength, grip, speed and balance are always present. I want to play on this obstacle course!

So let’s think about how to implement a course like this on a permanent basis.  First, it would ideally be constructed indoors so that it could be used year-round.  (Or maybe not?  Maybe if you’re truly ninja you’ll go out and practice even in the middle of January?)

I envision foam blocks replacing the water pit at the bottom.  All that metal and water just scream “liability” to me, and it would be much harder to maintain.  But how would this be implemented as a gym facility?  Should all of the obstacles be separated to allow individual focus and practice, or should they be linked together in one long course like in the show?  Perhaps both.  Ideally, members would be able to practice on any one piece of equipment at any time to allow for maximum flexibility in workouts and training.  But maybe there could be specific times of the day or days of the week where the entire course would be run through instead.

Crowding would be another issue.  Only one person can really be using a given obstacle at a time, so either the equipment would need modification to allow for more, or the gym would simply have an elite membership (and premium pricing to go with it – those fewer members would have to support the costs of the gym).  I lean towards the latter.  Exclusivity and ninja training seem to go together nicely, don’t you agree? 

New Idea: Fun Physical Training (or We Need More Ninjas in the World)

Problem: Gyms aren’t really fun.  I mean, even if you’re one of those superjocks who can force themselves to go five times a week until their body gets used to the strain, in your heart of hearts can you truly say that you are having fun when you go?  If you can, are you sure you haven’t just been brainwashed by the gym representatives?

I don’t avoid physical activity.  But I don’t like the feeling of going into a gym and picking up heavy things for no other reason than to put them back down again.  It feels so pointless, so mundane.  The creative part of my brain cries out in protest.  I feel like I could be using that same energy to accomplish something real while getting in shape.  Perhaps chopping lumber.  Maybe rearranging furniture.  But you get the idea.

When I have a clear goal outlined, the physical aspect of work is not an issue for me.  Time flies by and I don’t feel tired because I’m so focused on what I’m doing.  But I have to feel invested in the goal – lifting the same barbell over my head eight times in a row does not cut it.

At the same time, I recognize the value of having a place where you can go regularly and achieve measurable progress in your strength and fitness.  It is harder to do this when you’re out cutting lumber, and you can only rearrange your furniture so many times.

Solution: Provide a location that is both fun to use and provides measurable, repeatable exercises.  I present to you: the Ninja Gym.  Have you ever seen the show Ninja Warrior on G4?  Check it out, I’ll wait. (It has its own video podcast on iTunes, too, look for it on the bottom of the page.)

If you look at some of these obstacle courses and think, “hey, I want to do that!”, then you and I clearly see eye to eye on the subject.  (If you’re too lazy to go see the videos, it’s basically a yearly competition with a huge obstacle course that people run through while competing for the best time.  The object of the course is to test all aspects of fitness.)  So I ask you, why can’t a similar obstacle course be set up indoors on a permanent basis?  Think of it: instead of merely going to the gym to throw yourself at blunt objects and hopefully burn a little fat, you could enhance your speed, balance, grip, agility, strength, and more!  Of course you would still be burning fat, but on top of that you would also gather a plethora of skills that you could use with that new hot body of yours!

Sure, getting up to five miles on the treadmill is great, but how much cooler will it be when you finally master climbing the dreaded Sasuke tower?  Or the brutal cliffhanger?  The point is, these are fun measurable goals that give you a distinct sense of satisfaction.  It’s basically like a huge playground for adults.  And there is plenty of variety and room for improvement so you don’t get bored.  It takes years of training for athletes to be able to make it through every aspect of the course, and even after this happens there is still the issue of time measurement and competitions.

I’ve noticed that gyms have begun cramming as many television sets as possible into their facilities – my local gym even has individual screens on every single treadmill and bicycle.  What is the point of this?  To distract you from the fact that you are running in place?  In the Ninja Gym, you will be 100% in the moment, focused on the task at hand.  Because if you aren’t, you’ll end up falling into the foam pit of shame and your honor will be stripped in front of your peers.  Or perhaps you’ll be caned publicly.  I haven’t decided yet.

Pros/benefits:

• Evens the playing field – some of the buffest people will have real trouble adjusting to the speed and agility portions of the course, whereas skinny or out of shape people could discover areas of previously unknown ability.
• Can tie in easily with martial arts/mma outfit – be a Ninja Gym in every sense of the phrase.
• Can go after recreational date market on weekends.
• Can host American Ninja Warrior Competitions.

Cons/weaknesses:

• Expensive to build.  This equipment and facility won’t come cheap.
• Liability.  People get hurt.  Hurt people sue people.  We would need some ironclad contracts and waivers.
• Competition from regular gyms

That’s my idea, I’ve been kicking this one around for about a year and I still want it to come into reality.  Bad.  What do you think?  Have I missed any cons?  Would you appreciate a Ninja Gym in your area?