New Idea: Fun Physical Training (or We Need More Ninjas in the World)

Problem: Gyms aren’t really fun.  I mean, even if you’re one of those superjocks who can force themselves to go five times a week until their body gets used to the strain, in your heart of hearts can you truly say that you are having fun when you go?  If you can, are you sure you haven’t just been brainwashed by the gym representatives?

I don’t avoid physical activity.  But I don’t like the feeling of going into a gym and picking up heavy things for no other reason than to put them back down again.  It feels so pointless, so mundane.  The creative part of my brain cries out in protest.  I feel like I could be using that same energy to accomplish something real while getting in shape.  Perhaps chopping lumber.  Maybe rearranging furniture.  But you get the idea.

When I have a clear goal outlined, the physical aspect of work is not an issue for me.  Time flies by and I don’t feel tired because I’m so focused on what I’m doing.  But I have to feel invested in the goal – lifting the same barbell over my head eight times in a row does not cut it.

At the same time, I recognize the value of having a place where you can go regularly and achieve measurable progress in your strength and fitness.  It is harder to do this when you’re out cutting lumber, and you can only rearrange your furniture so many times.

Solution: Provide a location that is both fun to use and provides measurable, repeatable exercises.  I present to you: the Ninja Gym.  Have you ever seen the show Ninja Warrior on G4?  Check it out, I’ll wait. (It has its own video podcast on iTunes, too, look for it on the bottom of the page.)

If you look at some of these obstacle courses and think, “hey, I want to do that!”, then you and I clearly see eye to eye on the subject.  (If you’re too lazy to go see the videos, it’s basically a yearly competition with a huge obstacle course that people run through while competing for the best time.  The object of the course is to test all aspects of fitness.)  So I ask you, why can’t a similar obstacle course be set up indoors on a permanent basis?  Think of it: instead of merely going to the gym to throw yourself at blunt objects and hopefully burn a little fat, you could enhance your speed, balance, grip, agility, strength, and more!  Of course you would still be burning fat, but on top of that you would also gather a plethora of skills that you could use with that new hot body of yours!

Sure, getting up to five miles on the treadmill is great, but how much cooler will it be when you finally master climbing the dreaded Sasuke tower?  Or the brutal cliffhanger?  The point is, these are fun measurable goals that give you a distinct sense of satisfaction.  It’s basically like a huge playground for adults.  And there is plenty of variety and room for improvement so you don’t get bored.  It takes years of training for athletes to be able to make it through every aspect of the course, and even after this happens there is still the issue of time measurement and competitions.

I’ve noticed that gyms have begun cramming as many television sets as possible into their facilities – my local gym even has individual screens on every single treadmill and bicycle.  What is the point of this?  To distract you from the fact that you are running in place?  In the Ninja Gym, you will be 100% in the moment, focused on the task at hand.  Because if you aren’t, you’ll end up falling into the foam pit of shame and your honor will be stripped in front of your peers.  Or perhaps you’ll be caned publicly.  I haven’t decided yet.

Pros/benefits:

• Evens the playing field – some of the buffest people will have real trouble adjusting to the speed and agility portions of the course, whereas skinny or out of shape people could discover areas of previously unknown ability.
• Can tie in easily with martial arts/mma outfit – be a Ninja Gym in every sense of the phrase.
• Can go after recreational date market on weekends.
• Can host American Ninja Warrior Competitions.

Cons/weaknesses:

• Expensive to build.  This equipment and facility won’t come cheap.
• Liability.  People get hurt.  Hurt people sue people.  We would need some ironclad contracts and waivers.
• Competition from regular gyms

That’s my idea, I’ve been kicking this one around for about a year and I still want it to come into reality.  Bad.  What do you think?  Have I missed any cons?  Would you appreciate a Ninja Gym in your area?